listen to me
- meg getting on sam’s lap and kissing him against his will
- lilith pinning him against the wall and kissing him against his will
- the ten million hints lucifer drops about violating sam sexually against his will (for hundreds and hundreds of years)
- the rapier the wit, the wittier the rape, my little butt buddy, my little bitch in every sense of the term
- becky tying sam up and touching him against his will
- becky putting a spell on him and basically reducing him to a blow up doll for her own sick delusions
- ruby taking advantage of him while he’s drunk and on drugs and depressed and clearly not in the right state of mind
how is he even able to touched by people without flinching is my main question
#how many times can his agency be taken away from him #before casual viewers finally notice it
Not to forget all the times Sam has been possessed: Meg using his body to touch Jo in a sexual manner in 2.14, Gary having sex with a woman while they’d swapped bodies in 5.12, Lucifer in 5.22 killing all those people, including Castiel, Bobby, and nearly Dean. Also, the three hunters in 5.03 forcing demon blood down Sam’s throat while saying “Come on, you know you want it, Sam.” and afterwards “There, was that really so bad?”
even sam’s demon blood arc and the soulless arc are a lot about sam’s angecy - not just taking it away, but how, in many cases, he simply doesn’t have any. he was fed demon blood as a child, which changed his body, and then for a long time people were telling him he was going to go evil, as if he’d wake up one day completely changed - just, bam, evil. sam’s anger and desperation are often a result of that idea - that he is going to become something, his body and mind taken control of, and that he has no choice, no agency in the matter. add that to his apparent life-long fear of impurity, always feeling wrong and different. and then you have his relationship with john, which was basically john controlling him (and dean), and then sam’s relationship with dean, where dean definitely calls the shots (which was one of the reasons sam was so lost in season four), and you can’t blame sam for wanting to get out of the life, or run away - from anything.
because it’s not “running away” or “leaving dean” - it’s trying to find some control in his life. some point, some area, where he can say, “i’m going to do this/not going to do this” and that is exactly what happens, instead of a moment where he tries to do something and someone/something comes up to tell him he can’t. maybe because someone doesn’t want him to, maybe because “it’s not good for him,” maybe because someone is going to force him to do something else.